You are worthy of love.

Happy Thursday Loves!!!! I hope everyone is having an awesome week so far. My plan was to blog on Monday however, I honestly didn't know what exactly to talk about. When I first created this blog I promised myself I would never blog just to blog, I always want to talk about something meaningful and something thats on my heart. A couple of days ago someone came to me with a topic that is very near and dear to my heart. They needed advice on how to help their friend who is going through an abusive relationship. This subject really hit home for me because I spent a couple of years in a verbally abusive relationship. I started to think about what I needed to hear while I was going through that season in my life. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and it was on my heart to be completely transparent and share my story with you guys!

Growing up I always had very high standards when it came to dating, as many girls do. When I was in Jr. High my best friend and I created a list of all of the qualities we wanted our husbands to possess (funny, loving, handsome etc.). It wasn't really hard for me to stick to that list all throughout high school, but the real pressure came when I graduated. While enjoying my new found freedom I had met this young man online ...lol so dumb.... (it was Myspace to be exact- that goes to show you how long ago this was). It didn't take long before we had arranged to meet up in person and not long after that we were full on dating. The beginning was, as it always is, amazing (the honeymoon stage) where everything is wonderful. However, it wasn't long before red flags starting going up. I slowly started crossing out all of those qualities on my list. When we would go out to dinner I would pay, he started driving my car, using my cell phone and taking my ATM card. My friends started warning me about his behavior but of course like most girls in love I didn't listen. I started lowering my standards just so this guy could meet them. Next thing I knew, I didn't have any standards left. I would pray and ask God to remove this guy out of my life if he wasn't for me, every time God would remove him I would go right back. When I was with this guy I felt like I could do so much better, but without him I felt like I was nothing. He would constantly remind me that if I left him no one else would want me. It got to the point where he pretty much controlled everything I did. My parents started to see this unhealthy behavior and they warned me, but being young and naive I reminded them that I knew exactly what I was doing. During one of our many breakups he got into some trouble which resulted in him serving 12 years in prison. Despite the circumstances I was still so determined to make it work. For a couple months my Saturdays consisted of waking up super early to drive to LA, stand in line for a couple hours just to visit with him behind a glass for a couple minutes. During one visit we decided that everything would be so much easier if we would just get married. Yes!! I was actually contemplating the idea of marrying a prisoner. I immediately went home and googled all the information I needed to have a wedding ceremony... in prison! It was one visit in particular, it was a Saturday morning and I was waiting for the guards to call his number, at that moment I began to ask myself, "What am I doing here? This is not the life I want to live, how did I allow this to happen?" I realized this whole time I was trying to save someone and I had completely lost myself in the process. I knew it was time to end this relationship for good. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship for a while know thats you have to go through a healing process. While going through this process I was spending a lot of time with my best friend and her husband and thats how I ended up meeting my husband. Now because of my past experience unfortunately my husband had to do a lot of damage control (bless his heart) but he showed me what real love looks like. I had to get used to the opening of doors and all the nice compliments, I pretty much had to get use to dating a gentleman. My husband now jokes that he has created a monster (which he totally has) but it was because of God using him that I realized this whole time I was worthy of love.

Some of you may not be able to relate to this story, but for those of you who do, know that you are so worthy of love. You deserve to be treated like a queen. Never lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs. If you feel damaged you can always find your worth in the one who created you.

If you are going through a tough time and you need some encouragement or someone to talk to I am always here for you and I would love to hear your story!

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someones inability to see your worth!"

XO- Mel

You are ENOUGH.

Happy Friday loves!!!! I hope all of you had a wonderful week. Any fun exciting plans for this weekend? My weekend will consist of working on some exciting new ideas and events for EVE, so stay tuned to see it all unfold (yay! I'm so excited).

I have to be honest, I didn't think I had it in me to start Even Vanity Ends. I constantly questioned why this vision was given to me. Out of all people, why me? I didn't feel like I was qualified or good enough to bring this vision to life. Have you ever felt inadequate? Like you're just not good enough? This was definitely a struggle for me and I just wanted to share my experience with you, in hopes that it would inspire you to realize that YOU ARE ENOUGH!

When I graduated high school my parents gave me the option to either go to college or apply for The Gas Company. Well, I really never spent time thinking about what college I wanted to go to or what I wanted to major in so I opted for the Gas Company. At the age of 18 I was making pretty good money and I definitely took pride in that. I worked there for 7 years and last May I was laid off (I never saw that coming). It was a pretty hard blow to my ego. When I lost my job I felt like I was stripped of my identity. Without my job I felt inadequate, unqualified and just not good enough. Even while I was looking for a job I would feel so discouraged reading all of the qualifications that I didn't meet.

When you first meet someone one of the most common questions they ask you is "So, what do you do?". Well for 7 years I never had a problem flaunting the fact that I worked for a great company and made great money, but after I lost my job I started to dread those conversations. While I was going through this transition my husband and I had an amazing opportunity to travel to Australia for a Missions Trip Tour. It was absolutely beautiful but of course traveling to another country entails meeting lots of new people that want to know about you. I was literally praying that no one would ask me what I did for a living because frankly I wasn't sure how to answer that question. Well, of course every single person I met asked me that exact question and every single time I would try to come up with something clever to make it seem like I didn't live a boring life. It wasn't until one of the last days in Australia when I met a young man and he asked me "So, Mel what do you do?" I paused and in that moment God reminded me that my identity didn't come from my job title or what company I worked for, my identity is and always was rooted in God. I was suddenly filled with confidence as I proudly said "I'm a stay at home wife!" and he responded "Wow! That's so awesome, stay at home wives don't get enough credit." It's crazy how this whole time in Australia I was trying to impress people with who I wasn't, when all along all I had to do was be myself and be confident in that.

Are you feeling inadequate, unqualified, and not good enough? Maybe it's your job or your current circumstance, maybe you feel like you're not pretty enough or smart enough? Whatever it is know that YOU ALONE ARE ENOUGH!!! You're identity does not lie in the mistakes you've made, your job titles or your physical appearance, your identity lies in GOD. Just be yourself and allow people to see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, BEAUTIFUL person that you are!

If you truly believe that you are enough I challenge you to take this promise to yourself and own who you are:

"Today, I declare and believe that I am enough. I am loving, smart, brave, patient, beautiful and funny enough. I will make mistakes but I will learn and grow from them. I believe in myself and my dreams. I am proud of who God created me to be and I own it. Even when the world says I am not, I constantly remind myself that I am. I am worthy, I am loved and I am so enough."

Have a beautiful day loves!!!

XO- Mel

Be an encourager

Happy Monday loves!!!! I hope everyone's weekend was absolutely amazing!! My weekend consisted of hanging with our awesome youth ministry at a Disney blowout party, church on Sunday and having a little houseguest over all weekend... my adorable Godson Pauly T. So I must say it was a pretty good weekend. 

This morning I woke up with some people on my mind and it was on my heart to encourage them today.  I simply sent them a text letting them know they were appreciated and just reminding them of how amazing they are. That was my inspiration for this post today. I think today is the perfect day to encourage someone, especially since my Instagram feed is already full of everyone's countdown to Friday. So, I think it's safe to say that most of you are feeling the "Monday Blues". 

There's so many people that you come in contact with on a day to day basis and you may not even know their name or their story. Maybe it's that coworker that always looks mad or just a random stranger on the street. I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and talk to that person, learn their story or just simply give someone a smile. That may be all they need to turn their day around. A couple weeks ago my husband came home feeling very discouraged, so of course I was trying everything in my power to uplift him. Well... it wasn't really received the way I wanted it to be, it felt like my words of encouragement weren't really doing what I thought they would. So, because I didn't get the reaction I wanted from him my mood instantly changed and I shut down. Now, if you know me then you know that i'm usually a bubbly person. My friends even joke that it's always rainbows and butterflies when i'm around. So it was definitely out of the norm for me to just shut down. Later on that evening my husband approached me and asked what was wrong, (because it was totally written all over my face). I explained to him how I felt and in return he said something to me that I will never forget. "Never stop being who you are and never stop encouraging others because you feel like they won't or aren't receiving it." So, today I encourage you to never allow the fear of someone's reaction to keep you from being an encourager. You never know how much of an impact your words and love may have on someone. 

Maybe you're the one who needs to be encouraged today.

For those of you who need to be encouraged know that you are amazing!!! You are an overcomer, you are not your past mistakes or your current circumstances. You are not a failure, you have a purpose!!! Know that i'm cheering you on in everything you do. Use your words to love on someone today and make today beautiful!

I want to hear all about how you encouraged someone today so leave your inspiration below!!! Love you guys. XO - Mel

"Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Ephesians 4:29

Dream Chaser.

Happy Friday loves!!! Well here it is.. my very first blog. Aghhhhh... i'm so excited to start this new online adventure. But I have to be real and say that I never thought I would have a blog. I've always wanted one, but I never thought that I was the "blogging" type (if there's such a thing) . I would constantly doubt myself and make excuses of why I shouldn't have one. I had no clue on what to blog about or even how to create one and to be honest i'm still learning. But with the help and encouragement of my amazing husband here I am typing my little heart away. This is definitely a huge stepping stone for me. In this season of my life i'm learning that to grow you have to step out of your comfort zone.... it's not always easy but it's definitely worth it. Creating this blog may seem like no biggie to some but for me it is the first step in making my dreams a reality.  

Today I challenge YOU to step out of your comfort zone and do something that will bring you closer to your dream.  It doesn't matter how young or old you are, what you've done in the past, or whatever label society has given you, if you have a dream I encourage you to go chase it!! This life is way to short to just sit back and let it pass you by. How will you know what you're capable of if you never take a chance and step out. Every single day is an opportunity to grow and get closer to your dream. Don't allow doubt to keep you from being AMAZING! Now, go out and make your dreams a reality and I want to hear all about it!!! 

XO- Mel